Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Creative Living and Hard Wired Failure
Lately I've been learning to write computer code. I've been reading books and web sites about Html and Css. I've been reading the code behind blogger to understand all the user variables you can change. I'm writing a program for scoring baseball games and I'm turning one of my computers into a server.
All this machine logic is making me depressed.
Somehow, the parts of my brain involved to story telling are important for keeping me centered. Word play, the association of words, one to another in context that relate to anthropology - to human civilization are important to me. I lose my way if I don't dabble in word play; my faith in my nature, and coincidentally in the nature of the other fails, and I become rutted in a reactionary theology of negativity where the field lines of the universe conspire against me and all things that propel us all forward. In my neurosis I then flail myself for this happenstance. An ego gone mad - a hedonistic error piled on top of subjective observation that leaves me at the centre of my own illness, and cure. A place where if I start thinking 'right', the field lines of the universe would re-align to produce goodness, progress and the future.
Oddly, this is exactly what happens when I take the time to write creatively.